Awake

Today, I'm meeting my mom and grandma for lunch, and then going shopping with them for a bit. I'm trying to buy some new fall/winter clothes with what little extra money we have, before it gets really tight. Then I work tonight thru Sunday night, and on Sunday, I'll go home with Sarah to sleep, and spend the day with her. Trying to get in my friend time before I head back to the 'ham for good :)

This week seems so long. I feel like I've been here for at least 4 days or something, but I just got here wednesday afternoon... I'm just tired, and ready for the change. It's hard for me, when I am anticipating a big change, but I have to wait for it. I have become so impatient - I want things to happen NOW, instant gratification. I'm not good at waiting, even after these last two years. I'm getting better, though, slowly. God is teaching me through everything with Mark and his job, and everything with my job search - and I'm getting better. More calm. More at peace with myself, and the things around me. For the first time in quite a long time, things are working out for both of us at the same time - I've (finally) found a job, and Mark is really going to like grad school. Money will be tight for a while (not that it hasn't been already...) but it's a means to an end, and hopefully after the next couple years, Mark can find a really great job that he loves, and we can start our family. If not - well, we'll figure that out when the time comes. (After I have a nervous breakdown.) My mantra over the past year or so has become "It will be okay." And it will. It will always be okay, eventually. And, momentarily at least, it's okay right now. I'd even go so far to say: things are good :) I like it that way.