Wednesday, August 26, 2009

thoughts on leaving

I turned in my 2 weeks notice tonight. I'll really, really miss my co-workers. They are so great. I hope they know that.

But, there are so many things I can't wait for. Having Mon-Fri off every week dances in my head like a fairy tale ... that part is almost too good to be true. Working two days a week. Being able to be a wife, being able to sleep at night rather than when the sun is out and bright. Being able to have a life. I know I keep talking about this, but I'm so excited to see what the future brings. I'm so hopeful. Mark is really enjoying school, we'll have our friends back and close to us very soon (just one week now!), I've got an amazing schedule...

About 6 months ago (give or take) I was really really frustrated about where we were, and where life was taking us. I wanted to be able to have a baby if I wanted (which I wasn't ready for, still am not, but still, it was the priniciple...), I wanted to buy a house, I wanted to BE THERE ALREADY. But I'm realizing more and more that I am HERE, not there, and I need to not take this time for granted. I know for a fact (well ... at least, I hope) that we aren't going to be having kids in the next three years. I could be grumpy and mopey and moody about it, and beg Mark and do something that wouldn't be best for anybody in the long run. But instead, I'm choosing to enjoy this time - this is the only time we'll have to enjoy each other until we're old, and by then, we'll feel too yucky to do anything fun. So I'm going to try and make the most of it. Yes, there are days when I want a baby. But there are more days when I LOVE my life, and being able to go out and do things on the spur of the moment without worrying about a babysitter. I know we're poor, but I want to travel, and do things and enjoy my husband now without the stresses of children. We are at such an amazing place in our lives, especially with our schedules right now... it's just taken a while for me to realize it. Now that I have, I'm intending to appreciate it more, and take full advantage of our situation.

Life is good. And so is God. And daily, I'm remembering that it's important not to forget both.

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